These are my eyes. All my life I was told I had brown eyes and that is how I filled out every form that ever asked for my eye color. Then a doctor I worked with a long time ago commented one day that he thought I had pretty, green eyes. Other people have told me my eyes are amber or even hazel, but most people agree that my eyes are not brown.
I don’t have great eyelashes. Especially the ones on the bottom. You can’t see those unless I have mascara on. When I have mascara on, they look pretty good. I don’t have thick, unruly eyebrows either. I’m glad they’re not unruly, but I wish they were thicker and darker. I have to darken them to really see that they are even there.
I like my eyes. I like to wear eye makeup. In fact, it was one of the first ways I rebelled at home. Wearing eye makeup. It’s always been fun for me to apply makeup. I don’t like a lot and I like it to be pretty classic looking, but I like wearing makeup. I also have worn makeup for so long that it’s hard to think about going out of the house without it.
Over the last few years though, I have found myself getting more and more comfortable, and even liking, not wearing eye makeup. Even in public. I’m not scared of people seeing me without it, like I used to be in college. And maybe it has something to do with having chronic dry eyes and the constant need for eye drops. Some days, my eyes are just too tired and too sensitive and don’t want to have makeup put on them.
I had hip surgery a couple of weeks ago. It went well. I didn’t break my hip or have a hip replacement. I have deformities, I guess you could call them, that have been with me probably for my whole life that cause extreme pain and discomfort and prevent me from doing things I would like to do and so it was time to get it corrected. The recovery is long. I have been flat in bed for two weeks. This week I can sit for 15-minute periods, but then have to go back down for 2 to 3 hours. So, you can imagine, I’m not wearing eye makeup right now.
These last couple of weeks have been weirdly cool. I get to sleep any time I want. I have an excuse to rest. My sister brought me her small fridge and so I have it in my room, stocked with cold drinks and snacks. I have excuses to not do the things I don’t want to do. I get to watch movies and read all day. My neighbors from church have been spoiling me rotten by bringing dinners. And, the coolest thing of all is that I have decided I like the way I look without makeup!
My routine has had to be much shorter these days. I get out of the shower and only can put on some moisturizer and brush my wet hair into a braid before getting back down flat. Each time I have come face to face with my reflection these last many days, I have gotten more and more happy with the fact that, hey! I didn’t have to put any makeup on today! I still look pretty darn good! And, more than that, I don’t care! Yay!
I’m 50 so I’m not old by any measurement, but I am tired of some things. I’m tired of reading books that I don’t love, so if it doesn’t grab me in the first two chapters, I’m not going to finish it and I’m not going to apologize either. I’m tired of eating so-so food. If I have to eat to live, because that’s me–I eat to live–I don’t live to eat–then I want to eat delicious food. That doesn’t mean fancy or expensive. It just means GOOD. The meals my church friends have brought me, by the way, have been delicious! I’m tired of conversations that are negative. They wear me out. I’m tired of worrying about the future, and I’m a grade-A worry wart. I’m worn out with it. I’m tired of the world, and all the forces within it, pressuring me to look a certain way or to be a certain kind of woman. Guess what? I will wear makeup when I want to and I won’t wear it when I don’t want to. Maybe I won’t wear it to church one day. Maybe, even, I will teach my lesson at church without wearing makeup, just because I’d rather have 5 minutes extra time in the bubble bath. Maybe I will wear lots of eyeliner to the grocery store and maybe I will wear a bare face and bright red lipstick only to the symphony. I will do what I want, when I want. And guess what? It’s okay because me wearing or not wearing makeup is not going to hurt anyone.
And something else. I’m tired of trying to search high and low for better mascara. I just read an article that said it’s all the same, basically. It’s so hard and takes so long to get patents on new formulas, that the only thing they can really do is come up with new wands and new tubes. And then they sell it us for $8 all the way up to $40 per tube. And then, they tell us we’ll all go blind if we don’t throw mascara out every three months. I think that’s a bunch of hype. In college, and when we were first married, and for several years after that, I didn’t have the luxury of getting mascara every three months. It wasn’t in the budget. Especially if the tube was still full. I used mascara until it was so gone or so dried out I couldn’t get any more out of the tube, and I NEVER went blind. They tell us that because then they get to sell more mascara. And we’re supposed to be okay with that because then we can try all the hundreds of ridiculously shaped wands and colors of tubes and fancy names of mascara. There is one called “Better Than Sex,” and one called “They’re Real,” and other ridiculous names. Please!
I’m sure you have already read my post, or rather my rant, about false eyelashes. If not, please give it a read. I won’t go into that here, but I’m not afraid to tell you I’m against them. If I now happen to be in the mood to put mascara on, and two coats on the top and one on the bottom doesn’t do any magic, well, too bad. I have more important things to do, like artwork or stained glass or reading a book, or cooking something new for dinner, or doing Pilates, or making out with my husband, or talking to my children. I don’t have time to try to look like Lady Gaga. Who would want to?
I guess I’m just tired of feeling like every day I have to put on some kind of a mask to be presentable to the world, or even to my husband and children. Guess what? After two weeks of no makeup, my husband still thinks I’m pretty and my kids don’t think I’m an alien. I bathe every day and wash and style my hair. I wear cute clothes that are clean. I smell good. If I don’t want to wear makeup, is that a crime?
I’m asking us as women to evaluate why we wear makeup and why we go without it. How does it make us feel? How do we feel when we take it all off? I really LOVE washing my face at night. I love having a clean face. It makes me feel relaxed and calm and now I’ve decided, actually prettier.
This is my face. It’s a nice face. It makes my husband happy. He loves me with eyeliner and lipstick and he loves me without it. I am not against makeup. If you know me, you would know I’m a makeup and beauty junkie. I even subscribe to a beauty sample site where I get a new box each month bursting with lovely new surprises to try. I highly recommend it. There are many, but I like the one called Ipsy. It’s like Christmas every month. A new little box comes and you get to try things for a few times. I have learned about new brands of hair and skin products that I didn’t even know existed. I have tons of ready-to-go items for traveling and my purse. It’s a wonderful way to learn about beauty. So I’m not against makeup. I will still probably wear makeup most days of the week. I just want us to fall in love again, or for the first time, with our beautiful, uniquely special faces. I want us as women to be able to look in the mirror and say, hey, you! You are so pretty just the way you are this morning, leave things alone! Take a rest!
I can tell you that going without makeup for two weeks has done something else for me. My skin has never looked better. I don’t wear foundation anyway, but I’ve been wearing more moisturizer and creams and serums because I don’t have makeup on so I can slather something wonderful on if the mood hits or I need a little pickup. I think it has helped my skin be brighter, less dry, and clearer.
I don’t have all the secrets, but if you would like to know my favorite products, the ones I swear by on my own future grave, here they are.
1. Moisturizer: I am addicted to this! It is $12-14, available at Target, Walgreens, Wal-Mart, just about anywhere. No scents. Not greasy. Just heavenly and sinks right in. Feels light and beautiful. And it can be used on your whole body, so you only need one item. LOVE IT! The one my dermatologist recommends.
2. Sunscreen: The MOST IMPORTANT thing you put on your skin each day. My dermatologist gave this to me a few years ago and I’m hooked for life. I used to put foundation over it, but now I’m going more natural and so I have nixed the foundation from my life. I just wear this and concealer.
3. Concealer: Well the pic is upside down. Forgive me! I’m a dork. But truly this is the best, for me, for under eyes. A little goes a long way and it lasts forever. It doesn’t smudge or slide around on your face. It’s there until you wash it off. Moisturizing, too.